By Hillary Volper, LCSW

Is there happiness after divorce? It depends on many factors because each divorce is different. But aside from happiness, there is an adjustment period. 

 Initially, you may feel relief, unburdened. Others may feel betrayal, confusion, guilt, and downright anger and sadness. It will be a merry-go-round of feelings.

Your role as a parent will include helping your children exapress their fears, their confusion, and helping them to understand that divorce is only between parents. Your focus also includes minimizing displays of turmoil in front of your children or using them as pawns to get back or get even with your former partner.

Lastly, the reinventing of yourself as a single person with all its challenges is challenging. Divorce is second on the list of stressors in life that one may face in life.

Tips:

• Enter couples therapy to negotiate co-parenting.

• Enter individual therapy to help you learn how to not duplicate the same mistake again.

• Join social groups to prevent isolating yourself.

And finally, avoid blaming yourself for not being a good enough spouse or parent. This only deepens your wounds. Realize that ultimately you will find workable solutions.

Hillary Volper, LCSW, conducts individual psychotherapy both in-person and via telehealth. She has offices in New York City and in Larchmont and can be reached at 914-980-7980. Visit www.HillaryVolper.com for more information.