Many women in my practice express frustration about carrying an unequal share of household work and childcare, even while working full-time jobs. This concern is backed by data from the American Time Use Survey (ATUS), which reports that women spend an average of 5.7 hours per day on housework and caregiving, compared to 3.6 hours  for men. This ongoing imbalance often arises from traditional gender roles, as boys are not typically encouraged to participate in household tasks as much as girls.

Addressing this issue requires couples to challenge these ingrained societal norms and communicate openly about responsibilities.  A practical first step is to sit down together and make a comprehensive list of all chores and household tasks. These tasks can be divided based on each person’s strengths, interest, and schedules, rather than outdated stereotypes.  It’s important to acknowledge and appreciate each partner’s contributions, expressing gratitude instead of criticism. 

Open, ongoing communication is essential for a healthy partnership. Couples should regularly discuss challenges and adjust their approach as needed, understanding that teamwork is crucial for successful family life. By striving for a fair division of labor and maintaining honest dialogue, couples can create a more balanced and supportive home environment.

Hillary Volper, LCSW, conducts individual psychotherapy both in-person and via telehealth. She has offices in New York City and in Larchmont and can be reached at 914-980-7980. Visit www.HillaryVolper.com for more information.